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Just when you thought you had seen it all, namely the U.S. President's admission he has been lying for the past seven months in the Monica Lewinsky affair, along with his simultaneous attempt to blame it all on Kenneth Starr, and his assertion that his perjury and obstruction of justice are nobody's business but his own and Hillary's--just when you thought the gutless wonders in Washington might muster enough moxie to throw the criminal out of office--just when you thought that Clinton's cunning linguistics about Monica having sex with him but he didn't have sex with her ("It's a miracle," Bob Bennett explained) would win the Josef Goebbels award for creative destruction of the language--just when you were relishing the fact that a certain semen-stained blue dress had made this so-called "statesman" the laughing stock of detergent ads in Tel Aviv--just when you had come to believe there might be a modicum of sanity left in the country--the Oval Office lunatic orders U.S. planes to bomb two foreign countries. "National security," says the Liar. And all the way down the line: CNN: "national security"; CBS: "national security"; NBC: "national security"; ABC: "national security". "National security" means he has his pecker in one hand and the Red Telephone in the other. "Terrorists," says the red-faced Thug--the same Thug who has just spent seven months intimidating witnesses and attempting to destroy the reputations of all those critics who were telling the truth. And on down the media line we hear the refrain: "Terrorists", "Terrorists", "Terrorists", "Terrorists." This from the same "journalists" who for seven months demanded an "open mind" about an "alleged" affair, no matter how detailed the evidence that emerged regarding the Big Creep's oral escapades, lies, and cover-up. "Terrorists" means the Big Creep has decided to terrorize easy targets--ostensibly associated with Osama bin Laden--but he'll be thinking of Kenneth Starr all along. He's damned well going to make somebody pay for those grand jury questions. Maybe he can have Seal Team Six slash some tires and kill some cats while he is at it. Yes, the U.S. was bombing "terrorist targets" in Afghanistan and the Sudan-- targets selected by the U.S. Federal Bureau of Investigation, the triumphant heroes of Waco, Ruby Ridge, the Atlanta Olympics, TWA 800, and Filegate. Next week the terrorist targets might be Paris and Detroit. On Monday, the President prevaricated to the grand jury. He then prevaricated to the nation on live TV. A big day for prevarication. But by Wednesday it was clear that even the best of the Great Prevaricator's mind-controlled minions were shrinking away from him. So, on Thursday, he bombed foreigners. The Great Prevaricator appeared on TV in Martha's Vineyard. "Bombs. Terrorists. Ugh. Umpah." He then returned to the White House so he could appear on TV yet again for a few more lies, and look statesmanlike, and get a blow job, and do a few lines of coke away from Hillary. (Hillary doesn't mind: Vernon Jordan stayed behind to comfort her. Bill's foibles give her license, you know.) He bombed foreigners who, he said, are guilty of the U.S. embassy bombings in Nairobi and Dar es Salaam. Now, how could he possibly know that? The very same FBI couldn't find out what happened in Oklahoma City for months. In the U.S., on their own home ground. But in this case, on foreign soil, what a miracle! Once the Commander-in-Chief makes up his mind, Freeh's little lackeys know what conclusions to draw right away. Evidence? We don't need no stinking evidence: we have missiles. The President is evidently insane. Is it PMS: Post- Monica Syndrome? A protest group gathers outside the White House: "No blood for Monica," they chant. Yes, it seems the President is having another private moment in his private life. His alleged wife Hillary "believes in this marriage," she claims. But not enough, apparently, to give the President the oral sex he craves. And as for the President, well, one doubts he could stand to go anywhere near Hillary's lap. Moreover, the nation hates him for his lying and Monday's failed performance, and he is, well, tense. So today he's going to kill some people instead. That'll teach them to pick on Sensitive Bill and his little three-inch bent prick. "Did the President perform cunnilingus on you?" the Special Prosecutor's team asked Monica Lewinsky before the grand jury that is looking into criminal charges against the President. Monica didn't know what the word meant. They should have quoted Gennifer Flowers to her: "He eats pussy like a champ." Everyone can understand that language. "Cunnilingus" comes from the Latin cunnus, meaning vulva ("cunt"), and lingus, from lingere, meaning to lick. The President will eat cunt, but he won't do the decent thing and resign and eat crow. No, he's got to divert attention from his own crimes by punishing others for theirs. And his bombs are the biggest bombs on the block. Yes, Presidents have private lives, too. That's why this one has set out to murder unknown foreigners concerning whom he has no evidence of criminality. "They were terrorist targets. I feel it in my loins," the President avers. Tomorrow the Great Prevaricator's orgasmic obsessions may destroy a U.S. passenger plane or demolish a crowded public square. But that's just between him and Hillary. The Great Prevaricator's private life, private thoughts, private paranoia, and private insanity are out of control. He has become a very dangerous man. Especially to his neighbors in Washington. For his bombs are lighting the fuse of foreign retaliation. Most of the world does not hate Americans. Just talk to them. You'll find out. What they hate is Washington. They hate Washington almost as much as many Americans do. This has its positive benefits. American patriots need not worry about getting rid of the Evil Washington Empire. Washington drops bombs from the sky, interferes politically around the world, and supports global dictators of one stripe or another everywhere. Washington is creating more enemies by the minute. And some of those enemies are going to come to Washington with suitcase nukes and biological weapons. And they are going to stick these weapons up the Great Prevaricator's ass while he's preoccupied licking the precious bodily fluids of some young power groupie, or dumping his own DNA on her evening gown. But, when it happens, there will be no need to shed any tears for innocent Washington lives. For those living there know very well there is a madman in the White House. And they have chosen to do nothing about it. |